Rod
Eime's nose for old Falcons brings him face-to-face with two not-so-plain
clothed operatives.
One
of the first things that struck me about Buenos Aires was Argentina's
native version of the humble Ford Falcon. Back home we are all used to
seeing a continually evolving family sedan gradually adopting the state-of-the
art technology as it migrates to the automotive industry. You know; fuel
injection, electric windows, self-cancelling indicators, cutting-edge
stuff like that. Only in Argentina, the clock stopped at 1966 with the
venerable XM Falcon locked into a feedback loop on the production line
- sort of like one of them new-fangled vinyl LPs stuck on a piece of fly
shit.
"I must get a
shot of one of these for the guys back home. They'll never believe it!"
thought self.
Still in a twilight
zone of semi-slumber on the bus in from the airport, I did a quick census
of the omnipresent Falcon. The 'proper' ones still had all the fair dinkum
chrome work, but clearly they lapsed into a laissez-faire era in the '70s
and '80s when leftover TE and TF Cortina grilles, head- and tail-lights
were clumsily grafted onto the classic body work. Urgh!
I checked into my
downtown tourist hotel, The Libertador, and tossed and turned for a few
hours, as you do, before deciding to go for a walk instead of trying to
synthesise sleep. (Yes, I know about Melatonin now, thank you!)
The sun was only just
up as I strolled, camera in hand, toward the famous Avenue 7th July, the
widest street in the known universe, or some such thing. BA was only just
starting to stir, when along came a stunning silver Falcon. Here's my
chance. Quick as you like, out came the 80-200 zoom and I lined up the
Ford as it cruised toward me. Snap!
Exhibit A
"Uh
oh, he wasn't happy," I thought, as the driver spun his head around
to hurl me a sizeable glare. But he kept going - or looked like he kept
going.
A minute or two later,
I stopped to observe some inconsequential street activity when
.
URROOORRUP
this same Falcon came to an abrupt stop right in front
of me. He'd done a deft lap of the block and, like a cruise missile, landed
literally on my doorstep.
"Oh, shit!"
Where do I run? Nowhere. What do I do? Stay visible, stay cool. This could
get ugly, I thought as two goons, looking like overweight, overage Starsky
and Hutch types purposefully exited the well-used Falcon and fronted me.
And I mean FRONTED me.
The scruffy one in
a tatty jacket with Brady Bunch grey/blonde hair came forward, fixed me
a steely look and posed me something in Spanish to which I just shrugged
my shoulders and said in my best "tourist" English, "Sorry
I don't speak Spanish. Ha har.." Gulp!
My mind was racing.
Who were these guys? Hoods? Hitmen? Gangsters? or just middle-aged louts?
The dark haired one in the Vinny's denim jacket stood back, arms crossed
to disguise his concealed hardware (I was sure) observing the unfolding
scene. I could imagine the Partridge Family cast-off, now just a few inches
in front of me, clicking his fingers and, like in a scene from The Persuaders,
Tony Curtis casually pulls out a Browning and wastes me on-the-spot.
In contrast, despite
my serious transgression, these guys stayed reasonably cool, and while
maintaining a decidedly ominous demeanour, didn't appear prone to any
unprovoked violence.
Starsky repeated his
request, icy tone maintained, but this time in passable English. "You
take my picture," he pronounced, gaze unflinching, "what for?"
"Yes (ha ha).
I'm a tourist from Australia and this is a Ford Falcon," I said in
stilted voice, pointing to their modest transport whilst still managing
a convincingly idiotic smile.
"Yes, Ford Falcon,"
Starsky acknowledged, wondering I'm sure, just where the hell this was
going.
"We have Ford
Falcon too, but this one we stop making in 1966 (ha ha). I take a picture
to show my friends at home (ha ha)." My nervous grin bravely maintained.
This seemed to lighten
them up a bit. Starsky turned to his mate and gave him a fleeting, but
universal look that said plainly, "We've got a right one here!"
Did I see the corner of his mouth curl into the hint of a smile?
Stone face reapplied,
Starsky turned to me again. Slowly but purposefully, he reached inside
the corrugated lapel of his jacket and produced
.a badge!? My inquisitor
clearly expected a very different reaction as I expelled a relieved gust
of air. Phew! These guys are coppers, the good guys right? This revelation
came as an enormous relief. At least they weren't cranky hired guns looking
to kill some time, or me!
By this time Tony
Curtis was having a quiet chuckle to himself in the background and Starsky,
almost chummy by now, put me through another series of short questions
just for good measure; where was I staying? how long? Etc. I even proudly
shared with them my Aussie drivers' licence which chuffed them both no
end.
"You have a nice
trip. Bye bye" And with big gaucho grins, they both shook my hand
enthusiastically and scooted off into the slowly developing traffic.
That was the damnedest
thing, I thought. Wait till I tell someone this story! And it wasn't long
before I got the chance. After breakfast on the city tour bus I recounted
my little encounter with our ebullient tour guide. When I got to the bit
about the badge, his face froze, just after his mouth fell open.
"Oh shit!"
he gasped, eyes widening, "The Secret Police!"
Then, drawing air
noisily between clenched teeth, he added; "You are very lucky
.they
make you disappear!"
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